Self and others: Object relations theory in practice. - APA PsycNet
: Maya’s anger confirms Leo’s internal map. He thinks, "I knew it," and breaks up with her to regain a sense of "omnipotent" control over the inevitable abandonment. 4. The Path to Practice Self and Others: Object Relations Theory in Pra...
: When Maya is late, Leo "projects" his internal Rejecting Object onto her. Suddenly, she isn't the woman who bought him coffee yesterday; she is the "Bad Maya" who is intentionally abandoning him. 3. Projective Identification Self and others: Object relations theory in practice
Leo, a successful architect, has a habit of "quitting before he can be fired"—not just in jobs, but in love. He is currently dating Maya. When Maya is five minutes late or forgets to text, Leo doesn’t just feel annoyed; he feels a cold, familiar void. 1. The Internalized Object Maya gets frustrated and snaps
In therapy, Leo begins to recognize these "internal objects". He learns that Maya's lateness is an external event, not a reflection of his worth. By identifying the —someone who stays even when Leo is difficult—Leo begins to integrate his "split" world. He starts to see people (and himself) as "whole objects": complex mixes of good and bad who can be frustrated with him without leaving him.
Leo starts acting cold and critical to "test" Maya. He asks, "Are you bored of this yet?" . This is : he is unconsciously pressuring Maya to feel the same rejection he feels inside. Eventually, Maya gets frustrated and snaps, "Maybe I am bored if you're going to be like this!"
Because the pain of a "bad" caregiver is too much for a child to hold alongside the need for a "good" one, Leo used —separating people into "all-good" or "all-bad" categories.