Walden, lounging on the couch with a green juice that cost more than Alan's car, didn't look up. "Alan, the last time you tried to be 'mysterious,' the police questioned you for three hours because you were lurking near a mailbox."
Just then, Jenny—Charlie’s long-lost daughter—stumbled in, smelling faintly of cheap tequila and bad decisions. "Hey, roomies. Anyone seen my dignity? I think I left it at a dive bar called 'The Rusty Anchor' or in the back of a Prius. It’s a toss-up."
As Walden and Jenny began debating the merits of living a life without responsibility, Alan realized he had accidentally bid on a "Romantic Weekend for Two" at a bed-and-breakfast in Solvang.
"Great," Alan sighed, looking at his phone. "Now I just need to find someone who’s willing to be seen with me in public for forty-eight hours without a paper bag over their head."
Walden patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Alan. I’m sure there’s a very lonely librarian out there who loves coupons as much as you do." "She’s an archivist, Walden! And she’s magnificent!"
Alan Harper was staring at his reflection in the mirror, practicing his "I’m an alpha male" face, which mostly just looked like he had a mild toothache.
"That was a misunderstanding involving a lost coupon!" Alan huffed.
