Jerry Bernstein, a former NSA agent now "consulting" for the UK's Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ), watched the screen with a mixture of boredom and entitlement. He wasn't supposed to be downloading sitcoms on a secure server, but he’d convinced his bumbling sidekick, Joseph, that it was a "stress-test for the firewall."

Suddenly, the green bar turned a violent crimson. The text flickered and changed.

"It’s an '01', Joseph. The pilot," Jerry snapped, adjusting his power tie. "I need to see how the British portray us. If the American lead isn’t handsome and misunderstood, I’m filing a formal complaint with the embassy."

The loading bar on the dark web portal pulsed a rhythmic, sickly green.

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